I haven't lost anything except my mind.

Today I saw my worst nightmare. He found love without me.

She is beautiful. She is fun. She is everything I'm not.

I hate to admit it...but I am devastated.

I try to take my head off sometimes...He could be empty, and

I would still be empty right there with him.

I hate that my heart can still break months after he stopped caring.

Nobody has ever had this kind of hold on me and, to be quite honest,

its starting to really get at me. I need to let go. I need to forget.

Not run...not hide...not pretend it never happened.

It happened. And now this is happening. I can't give up on happiness.

Just because it didn't get to happen with him...doesn't mean it isn't possible.

I have to keep telling myself that. Its the only thing lucid about this whole situation.

All of this is true...I mean it. But I still can't breathe when I see her with the boy

I used to hold so close. The one that held my heart in the palm of his hand and

laughed while it dropped to the ground. He's still breathing. He's happy. He's forgotten.

And here I sit...alone...on a computer...crying myself into believing its all going to be ok.

You could be hollow, and I could right here hollow with you. If you wanna say goodbye to

everything, I could say goodbye too! I could be right here...empty...with you.